Productivity

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Was there always such pressure to produce and perform?  What did you do today? What did you accomplish? You were at work all day, so why aren’t you rich?  You were home all day, so why isn’t the house clean?

Being home all day, I used to feel like my self worth was directly proportional to the cleanliness of my house…which was below my standard of approval.  Cleaning with a preschooler is like shoveling in a blizzard – really inadvisable!

On the other hand, a full-time job would’ve left me even more depleted with even less time and even more excuses.  Now that I made it to the role of  ‘parent-of-an-elementary-school-aged-child,’ I spend at least two hours in the car on the days I have to drop off, pick up, and get to an extracurricular activity.  How could I fit that into my schedule? You manage. Because that’s what you have to do.  I do some of my best thinking in the car, and at least I’ve got tunes!

Coming back to productivity, I didn’t know what I was producing at home the last five years.  I was having slivers of conversations with adults here and there, while pouring my split attention into my daughter.  Now I can finally see the results of my hard work, as she is blossoming before my very eyes, but there were many stages we had to work through that weren’t as well-illuminated. I shoved my ideas scrawled onto post-it notes to the side of my desk. I shoved my lunch down my throat and ran to catch up with my little girl. She may not have entered Kindergarten reading or riding her bicycle without training wheels, but she will be soon enough.

Many days felt exactly like the one before.  I have no idea how I made it through the last few years.  I realize now that brick by brick, I was laying the foundation.  That is the most seemingly insignificant, but also the most necessary part of any great structure.  I have always felt that one thing one thing had to lead to another, and you never know. So you just gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. So when someone asks you today what you did, you can know it may not look like much, but it is a lot! Keep on keepin on!

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